You, oh Lord are the God of this city. You are the God of America, and the God of Haiti. You have revealed yourself in countless ways the past five days, more than I can remember, and I know there is more to come.
On the third day here, my heart was split wide open, but it had been rapidly breaking wide apart since the moment we arrived. I am struggling to understand, what makes ME so worthy of my life that God has given me? I have always heard about life in third world countries, and of course I've seen infomericals, but to experience Haiti, to see it, live it, taste it, smell it, my preconceived perceptions were nothing in comparison. The love I have developed for he Haitian people is indescribable. Their lives are so completely different, so simple, yet complex, so poor, yet rich, so lacking, yet full.
Why do I have my life, and not a Haitian life? Why do these people have their lives, and not mine? Why don't I live in a tin shanty with my husband and two daughters, with mud floors, one or two sets of clothes, no job, and a faith like no other? What my daughters have compared to what all the children have in the tent city nearby just breaks my heart. I feel guilty for the life I have. I feel heartbroken for the life they don't have.
It is hard to keep my tears trapped within. To view Haiti through a filter. While I do not understand, I can and do care. I know that God has His reasons...He has His purpose for me, and for each and every person here. He has a reason why I live in America. Why I have STUFF. It is hard to have stuff now.
My tears cry out to Jesus. I have so much, yet can give them so little. It should be reversed. I want it reversed. I want to have little and give much.
So many memories bring me joy...
When I sat next to Ivonne's wife (Ivonne runs an orphanage that Healing Haiti sponsors, and we brought to the ocean 36 children to the ocean.) I taught a few of the children how to bury her feet in the sand, and then how to unbury them and wash them off. That brought joy to both her, the kids, and myself. I fell in love specifically with two girls at Ivonne's orphanage. One is Rachel, she is 12 I think. She sat with me on the tap tap (bus) and tried to stay with me as much as possible. The other girl, I don't know her name, but she is around 17, and she held on to my hand as much and as hard as the little orphan girls did. I broke the ice with her by putting sunblock on her shoulders before we got out to the water, and were close the rest of the day. She braided my hair when we returned to the orphanage, and I gave her my cross necklace.
This is us in the toptop. Rachel is sitting next to me in a lime green shirt. My other girl, she is in front, mostly cut off, but in the blue tank top. Our bus was PACKED.
Okay, side note - Mirliton is delicious. It is a squash we have with Chicken Creole at the Habitation Hut restaurant. I order that every night wherever we are.
This little one fell asleep in my arms while standing in the ocean, while packing up, on the bus ride home, and during my hair braiding session. :) I will always cherish that time!
Okay, my time is up. We are eating very authentic tonight, rice and beans, made by Michelle, who works for the hotel that our house used to belong to. She also did our laundry...by hand.....in a metal tub out back. My clothes have never been cleaner. They hung outside for 2 days.
I love Haiti. I haven't even left, yet I already long to return. Thank you God for sending me here.
Healing Haiti Team Member