Heavenly Father I am still struggling with this, please help me to understand more…

Journal Entry #2 (November 2, 2010)

Word of the Day- Overwhelmed

Today we served the Haitian people in City Soleil. The poorest of the poor. The sights of children with no shoes, walking on glass, seashells, and rocks. Children with no clothes- sent out to beg for a “dolla.” Children carrying 30-40lbs buckets of water from the daily water truck because they don’t even have clean running water. What kind of life is this??? Where you can’t take a step without stepping on trash, or where a trip to the bathroom means walking to the ocean amidst piles of trash, feces, and hogs. All to contribute to the already horrific living conditions. What kind of life is this??? Where despite the previously mentioned, children still smile with happy, bright eyes, speak of how good Jesus is, and walk bare-footed over anything without falling behind you one step…all to ensure you don’t let go of their hand.

Where your eyes engaging with someone, makes them smile. It is not things that make these people smile, just our love; reflected after Jesus himself. A simple acknowledgement.

Of everything I have seen, why is it so hard to understand??? The educated answer: perspective. When you look at Haiti through a “first world” lens, there is nothing that will compare or make sense. Looking through a third world lens- what these people know is only that of how they live. God’s Answer: Matthew 6:25-34. It states,

“…do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear…your heavenly Father knows you need them…but seek first his kingdom & righteousness and all these things will be given to you…”

So is me being here how God is providing for the Haitians? It’s overwhelming to think about how to fix something that is so broken, requires so much, and doesn’t seem fair. Through God’s eyes however, they have what they need (Jesus as their savior, observed through their conversations and little children singing of God’s goodness)

Perhaps I am wrong- How can you fix something that isn’t broken???

…Heavenly Father I am still struggling with this, please help me to understand more…

Journal Entry #3 (November 3, 2010)

Word of the Day- Listened

I woke up today unsure of the next 12 hours. I still was struggling with the whole concept of “where to start” in order to “fix” Haiti…I felt like the Haitians are right when they rely on God and trust God, but no one should live like this… I also woke up not feeling well. My stomach was not settled, but what can I do but give it to God (like the Haitians), as the people of Haiti face greater challenges each day. We left for Grace Village. It was a beautiful location with the ocean on one side and picturesque mountains on the other.

Perhaps I can contribute to Grace Village to make an impact??? I didn’t know if that was my final answer.

Our next stop, Jean Garry’s Christian school (a school funded by Healing Haiti). This school had 225 students in six classrooms. After touring the first set of classrooms, we stopped at that main entrance to the older children’s classrooms. The director of the school stated, “only 10 will continue to the university.” How can this be fair?!?! I thought I was beginning to make sense of this…At that moment of questioning, the director pulled a table away from a newly painted wall. It read, “CEFCIN Christian School.” Underneath, “the first way of success is education,” was freshly painted on.

It was at this moment that Lord, you spoke to me and let me know you listened to my struggles. It was through Andres acknowledging our previous conversation from yesterday that I was able to listen to you. I’m so thankful that I was listening. What a blessing it is to be on a missions trip whole-heartedly. If it were not for a clear mind, and the willingness to be used by God, I may still be trying to “fix” the problem.

…Through this experience with Healing Haiti, I was not only able to serve God, but God revealed himself to me; drawing me closer than I have ever been, and teaching me more about myself at the same time…

Ron Jarvi Jr.

Healing Haiti Team Member

November 2010